y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
These tits shall not be calmed
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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