That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
