she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
No...this little piggys going to the bar
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize