Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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