we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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