He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
A+ Viking dick
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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