we have officially lost it.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
