i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize