She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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