I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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