is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
