i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
