I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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