you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
