dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
