boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
