i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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