i permit you to call me
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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