At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
