How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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