Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
