at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
