Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Randomize