I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
