You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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