dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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