After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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