Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize