Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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