Do you still have your period?
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
