Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
