I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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