In the future we'll all be gay
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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