Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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