The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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