Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
My Sexting was not on an AP level
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
