She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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