I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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