You made me cry and you don't even care
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
