I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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