it hurts more in the daytime
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
