I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
