My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Randomize
