he shaved USA in his pubs
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
