and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
