I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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