I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
