You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize