I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
