Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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