Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
