I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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