there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
