I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Drunk is not a location!
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize