so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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