Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize