Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
