So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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