i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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