i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
