I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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