before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
