I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
