I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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