We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
There are leaves in my underwear?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
