Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
