I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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