standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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