Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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