are you still at the devil's house?
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize