At least make sure they are 18
Why
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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