Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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