Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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