I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
