Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
