i may or may not be watching the land before time
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
