I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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