I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
