we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
