So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize