you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
